The Elusive Name
by KatieLeanne17
Summary: James and Sirius have a disagreement, and things get a bit odd...Just a quick oneshot!


"I am _not!_"

"Yes, you are!"

"How dare you!"

"There's nothing wrong with it, Padfoot!"

"It's no true!" Sirius yelled at his best friend. James Potter simply shook his head in exasperation.

"Wormtail, am I?" Sirius rounded on his other friend in the room, Peter Pettigrew.

"No." Peter shrugged. Sirius looked triumphant.

"Peter agrees with anything you say, Sirius. That's not fair."

"I do not!" Peter replied, indignant. James raised his eyebrows. "Okay, okay, you are Sirius." Peter laughed good-naturedly.

"Moony!" Sirius leapt off the bed and began pounding on the door to the bathroom in James's room; the four boys were at James' house for the summer holidays and were currently congregated in the owner's bedroom.

Remus Lupin emerged, looking amused and quite a bit wary.

"Yes, Sirius?"

"James and I have a disagreement, and we're hoping you can shed some light on this situation." Sirius began dramatically, causing the other three boys to snort with laughter. "Am I getting fat?"

"I didn't say fat! I said you're getting 'voluptuous', my dear friend."

"I'm not the deer, you are!" Sirius accused. "And it means the same thing!"

"I'm shocked that the both of you even know the meaning of that word," Remus laughed.  
"Just answer the question, please." James laughed.

"I wasn't aware a question had been asked of me," Remus smiled innocently. Sirius threw a pillow at him.

"Am I getting fat or not?"

"Well, I wouldn't say _fat_, but you are gaining a bit of mass." Remus decided after a moment.

"That's the same thing! I'll prove to you all I'm not getting fat!"

"How?" The remaining three questioned together.

"Easy, women love men who are in shape."

"To be fair, round is a perfectly acceptable shape," Peter stated, grinning.

"You know what I mean!"

The following day, the four boys went down to the local supermarket. Sirius attempted to hit on a few of the female workers, but most of them just giggled at him.

"Told you, buddy." James clapped his best friend on the shoulder. Sirius looked slightly put out for a moment, before grinning.

"Oh well, at least I'm still the most loveable in my Animagus form!"

"You are not!" James sounded affronted.

"I am too!" Sirius replied hotly. The four boys made their way outside and once making sure no one was around, Sirius transformed into his dog form.

"What are you doing, Padfoot?" Remus questioned, but Sirius just let out a loud bark and bounded off.

Not long after he left his friends, Sirius found a group of muggle girls, all smoking cigarettes against a car. They seemed perfectly normal, and were very cute.

_'Perfect!'_ Sirius thought, running up to them and wagging his tail.

"Aw, look at him, he's so cute!" The first girl squealed. She was pretty, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes.

"Think we can keep him?" The second girl questioned, scratching him behind his ear. Sirius mentally laughed.

_'Take that you guys!'_ Sirius thought to his friends. Just for added effect, he rolled over to let the girls scratch his stomach.

"He doesn't have a collar."

"Yeah, but look at that pudge! He's definitely been taken care of." the third girl, a tall Hispanic girl, stated. Sirius growled at that, and the girls looked at him hesitantly. Reminding himself not to blow this, Sirius forced himself to wag his tail again.

"Well, I don't see why we can't keep him until we find his owners, at least." The first girl stated.

"What should we call him?" the second questioned. They all lapsed into thought for a few moments.

"How about Death?" The first girl suggested. Sirius just stared at her.

_'What a morbid girl!' _he thought.

"Why?" The others laughed.

"You know, 'Death wears a cloak of black' or whatever that saying is!"

"Yes, but Death is also supposedly a women, if you want to get into that!"

_'Maybe they're all weird-o's…'_

"How about Apocalypse!" the third girl stated excitedly.

_'Now I'm getting concerned.' _Sirius thought. '_The stuff muggles think of!'_

"That's too long! What, would we call him Paco for short?" The second girl questioned. The others faces lit up with glee.

Sirius perked his head up at this suggestion. Were they truly being serious?

"Look, he likes it!" The first girl laughed, pointing at the reaction from Sirius.

_'Oh Merlin no!' _Sirius thought.

"That's it! Paco it is!" the girls clapped their hands excitedly.

"There he is!" Sirius distinctly heard James' voice, and he swelled with happiness. Never before had he been so happy to get away from females!

"Thank you so much for looking after our dog! Come on, Snuffles!" Remus added, clapping his hands.

"Snuffles?" The girls repeated.

"That's his name," Peter added. The girls looked highly upset.

"Don't worry, we thought he looked like an Apocalypse as well," the other girls comforted the first.

"Apocalypse?" Remus laughed as James beckoned Sirius to follow him. Sirius obeyed happily.

"Thanks again for watching him!" James called over his shoulder to the girls as the three boys and dog retreated.

"Hey!" The second girl called, making them all turn around. "You might want to start exercising him more. You're dogs a bit pudgy!"

_'Damn it!' _Sirius thought and growled while the others roared with laughter.

The End!

Just a random one shot! This is actually how I named my dog… he absolutely went wild and started wagging his tail when my friends and I picked him up from the pound and called him Paco! And yes, it's short for Apocalypse. =)


End file.
